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| someone..sad..I cried. |
| 12.13.03 (4:21 pm) [edit] |
.......................
You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute-----------
someone
is very proud of you
someone
is thinking of you
someone
cares about you
someone
misses you
someone
wants to talk to you
someone
wants to be with you
someone
hopes you aren't in trouble
someone
is thankful for the support you have
provided
someone
wants to hold your hand
someone
hopes everything turns out all right
someone
wants you to be happy
someone
wants you to find them
someone
is celebrating your successes
someone
wants to give you a gift
someone
think you ARE a gift
someone
hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
someone
wants to hug you
someone
loves you
someone
wants to lavish you with small gifts
someone
admires your strength
someone
is thinking of you and smiling
someone
wants to be your shoulder to cry on
someone
wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
someone
thinks the world of you
someone
wants to protect you
someone
would do anything for you
someone
wants to be forgiven
someone
is grateful for your forgiveness
someone
wants to laugh with you about old times
someone
remembers you and wishes you were there
someone
is praising God for you
someone
needs to know that your love is unconditional
somebody
values your advice
someone
wants to tell you how much they care
someone
wants to stay up watching old movies with
you
someone
wants to share their dreams with you
someone
wants to hold you in their arms
someone
wants YOU to hold them in your arms
someone
treasures your spirit
someone
wishes they could STOP time because of
you
someone
praises God for your friendship and love
someone
can't wait to see you
someone
wishes that things didn't have to change
someone
loves you for who you are
someone
loves the way you make them feel
someone
wants to be with you
someone
is hoping they can grow old with you
someone
hears a song that reminds them of you
someone
wants you to know they are there for you
someone
is glad that you're their friend
someone
wants to be your friend
someone
stayed up all night thinking about you
someone
is alive because of you
someone
is remorseful after losing your
friendship
someone
is wishing that you would notice them
someone
wants to get to know you better
someone
believes that you are their soul mate
someone
wants to be near you
someone
misses your guidance and advice
someone
values your guidance and advice
someone
has faith in you
someone
trusts you
someone
needs you to send them this letter
someone
needs your support
someone
needs you to have faith in them
someone
needs you to let them be your friend
someone
will cry when they read this
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| relashionships suck |
| 12.12.03 (8:03 pm) [edit] |
I have decided..me in a relashionship..isn't going to happen.I guess,in society,perfection is everything,and anything but,isn't exeptable,kill the diffrence.
I am not worthy of being loved,I suppose.
Either that,or I don't appeal to anyone,or everyone is too god damned scared to say anything.
I need someone,I want to be wanted.I'm tired of not having a boyfriend,5 years now..5 fuckin years,nothing.I must be really repulsive or something.I see the oddest couples nowadays,and wonder how the fuck that happened.I can't even get someone,how do these ugly ugly people get someone?I'm not vain,nor am I ugly,dog style.I'm cute,I hate being so alone.
I need love,from diffrent places..I'm not getting those things,I'm going crazy.I wish I could meet someone soon.Someone to love me,and want me.Someone to treat me the way I deserve.Woman of man..come to me..
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| hey jew guys,why dont yall comment anymore? |
| 12.11.03 (6:19 am) [edit] |
Someone comment on my things,my self esteam is going down. :cry:
[image]ZoloftNation_22903 7995.gif[/image]
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| Love...? |
| 12.10.03 (3:13 pm) [edit] |
hey babe,
sorry for just leaving on like that on friday. believe it or not my aunt and
uncle had just come over delivering some furniture and i had to help unload
and just couldn't get back on. now i know you might think it sounds far
fetched but its the truth i sware. i miss you, do you miss me? this are cool
over on this side of the watering hole. fianls are here, hard but i'm glad
to get them over with ya know. i'm still saving. i'm up like to 650 or
something. hmmm........anywho, so how you been doing? i just wanted you to
know that i was thinking of you whit and i love you very much. please know
that. well talk to ya again soon babe. later
laRRy
[b]
Which I replied with[/b]
Larry..in honesty,I miss us.I miss what we had.I don't know if we still have
that anymore.Sometimes,I think,that you feel like me,and can live without
each other.Everytime I think your gone,and have someone new,and I know I'll
make it without you..and that everything will be ok,you pop back up,like
nothing has ever happened.Finals over here,are next week.Then
break.Larry,it's alot of money,you don't have to come if you don't want
to.Ive been ok,lonely,but ok.Me and Rae had another fall out,but today we
became friends again.I wrote her this letter,and Claudia read over
it,Claudia had tears in her eyes,it was mean.You make me feel so alone
Larry,like we're just friends.I think about you too..not like I use to.I
feel lonely.Do you love me?If you loved me,wouldn't you make more time for
me?
Am I just someone you just love talking to?What do I really mean to
you?Don't you ever ask yourself,in the end,will this all be worth
it?Ok,we've officialy been together,7 months,on the 6th,does that mean
anything to you?Have you really cried over me? Why do you stay with me?You
make me feel so alone.Mabey when you're down here,if you get down here,or
even want to,I'll feel diffrently.RaeAnne,made me cry,Alyssia was hearing
the whole thing,she said it was the hardest thing she ever had to listen
to.I started crying in the kitchen..She was like "well mabey I shouldn't
tell you everything,mabey that would make it all better" And I started
crying,and was like "RaeAnne,I'm going to hang up the phone right now"...so
I made my way to the comp room,...sobbing and what not..but meh.It's all ok
now.Claudia is coming over this Friday,then Cassie over break.She said today
that we were gonna have lesbian sex.I was like alright,I'm Mr. Slick.We did
buy the webcam..I looked cute today.Everyone says I'm pretty when I put on
eyeliner..so Ive been putting on make-up alot lately.How much more money do
you have to save up?Do you think everything will work out,and you'll love me
even more?I hope you do make it down here.I wish we could talk.Good luck on
finals.And tell your mom and everyone hi.Do you still talk about me?Do girls
hit on you at work now too?Well..bye.~Whit
Is this love?I don't know anymore.
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| Sad song.. |
| 12.04.03 (7:47 pm) [edit] |
All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here, the days pile up
With decisions to be made, I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse
And forget this wasted year, these wasted years
Devoted friends, they disappear
And I'm sorry about the phone call and needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's just like breathing and not wanting to
There are some things you can't fake
I guess that it's typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know
And there below
His frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date, that ancient date
And you can't believe that he's really gone
When all that's left is a fucking song and
I'm sorry about the phone call; and waking you.
I know that it is late,
But thank you for talking, because I needed to.
Some things just can't wait.
(Yeah, some things just can't wait)
:(
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| My life is shit. |
| 12.04.03 (7:45 pm) [edit] |
Bah,I went to my sister's basketball game,at the last quarter,this woman and her daughter,who had downssyndrom,came and sat on the bleachers below us.
It was so sad,you never see children with the illness..and then I realized,everyone grows up.Everyone grows up and changes,becomes wiser,laughs at the things they cried about.It's sad.
Even a 56 year old woman,it doesn't seem like she's lived a full life,she hasn't gotten a long life.Everyone grows older,and fades away.Fades away,that's what I will do.I'll fade away,and forget everything,everything worth loving.
About Larry,he's still saving,pfft,I'll believe he is,when he's down here.I don't doubt his love for me,not at all..just hard to believe when he says he's ready to move on.
Wow,people can really be hurt,really be affected,by another persons actions.It's sad,you live that way..missing the other good things you [b]could[/b] have had.Missing out on who and what you were [b]suppose[/b] to have.
Emotions suck,ageing sucks,life..sucks.
I won't deny that I love him,I do,I truely do.But,mabey I want more then he does,want to go faster then his fragile heart can go.When he says he's ready,I hope he means it.
Life is about hurting,but I [i]don't[/i] want to.Yes,I love him,with all my heart,and I constantly think about him.Always on my mind.
Watch,I'll cry soon enough.I never can stay happy,I'll cry in due time.I wish I could stay young forever.I wish Larry would move to Texas,transfer colleges,I wish for things that will [b]never[/b] happen.Life is shit,then you die.
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| random |
| 12.04.03 (4:14 am) [edit] |
Eh,I haven't found anything worth typing about on here.Just updating the outlook.
Nothing worth ranting about.
I do all my bitching in my diary..so..I save this for social things.
Ive been getting into gay pride recently..not for the fact that I'm gay..I don't think..but because I truely support gay rights.
I'm bisexual..that shouldn't count,but that's why I have all this "fag" stuff in my blog. :lol:
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| foolin round |
| 12.02.03 (7:17 pm) [edit] |
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Ha,make my day and comment on my blog crap.I lover Larry *muahaha*
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| Hurting.. |
| 12.02.03 (3:38 pm) [edit] |
hey you,
sorry for the quick hello goodbye. i wanted to at least come on and say hi
before i left for school. i've been crazy busy and didn't want you to think
in anyway that i was avoiding or anything like that. far from it. things are
cool over on this side of the watering hole. i'm still a' saving for ya of
course. its alot of money babe. how long are we actually gonna get to hang
out? just a question whit, i'm not implying anything with it. yikes its been
cold over here. well hey babe i better high tail it to class and all. i'll
talk to you again soon love. and i do love you
laRRy
p.s. why do you send mail from another account babe, hart1 i think it is.
still loving you
I replied with this
Yeah..it was a quick hello and goodbye.I don't think you're avoiding
me..just mabey squeezing me out of your life.No time for little miss cyber
girl.You have a busy life Larry..I understand it all.I know it's alot of
money..and if it's a problem,we can call the whole thing off.Not a
problem,and if you're saving all that money and want a large amount of
time..it won't be happening.You can visit me 3 times,and we'll see how much
time we get,but if that's not good enough,that's fine.There..I want you to
hightale it..over here..Do you love me,as much as you use to?I feel like I'm
not in your life anymore.Like,you'de be happy without me.I'm glad you
emailed.How much money do you have now?Just give the word when and if you're
coming,so I can ya know,put make up on or something.Do you still love me as
much?I feel all this,and it's made me love you even more.I give love
counceling to all my friends..that have their hearts broken..Things that no
one would have guessed happened.I'm wondeirng when my heart will break,if
I'll care,if I'll break down.Are you going to hurt me Larry?We've been
'together' a long time.Know I love you..and you have the power to hurt
me.Like no one else can.~Whitney
[image]ZoloftNation_21923 4917.gif[/image]
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| Abortion |
| 11.22.03 (4:46 pm) [edit] |
Ok,I'm going to vent.
Unstable,emotionally torn women,should be banned from having children.Seriously.
Another baby found in a dumpster,what is wrong with these people?Children are a gift,not a throw away toy.
My veiw is,if you think you're responsible enough to have sex,open your legs,unprotected,then you should be responsible enough to handle the consequences.
These days,sex should not be taken only as a recreational sport anymore.So much more is on the line.Another life for example.
What is wrong with these women who see it as anything but?When you throw these babies away,like trash,do you have a sence of relief?Do they even know i'ts illegal?
I just can't understand,someone help me.
Babies are a gift from God,you are helping to create this thing,and to breath life into it.
If you must open your legs,at least know with all your heart,what kind of consequences come with it.
Not that it's a consequence,but it truely is,when you're not ready.
Now on the other hand..abortion.I'm completely against it to a point.
Teenage mothers,there should be a law that bands teenagers from abortion to a reason.
Some people have their reasons for what they choose to do to their [b]own[/b] body,and what comes from it. Completely your choice,you're the ones living with it.Not me.But why?
You will never know what people these babies could have grown to be.Your child could have found the cure for AIDs and cancer..you never would have known,you never gave it a chance.
Now,I understand about rape,not wanting to remeber it.But by abortion..what's the good in it?Do you not still remeber what happened to you?Face up,and realize the good that came from it.That's all you can do.Don't blame your child for the bad that others have done.
I just needed to vent.I'll say one more thing.
Wrap it up for God sakes,unless you know the life long thing you will be dealing with.Raising a child isn't a game,especially when you yourself,are a child.
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| Ignorance.. |
| 11.13.03 (7:14 pm) [edit] |
God,I hate people.Ignorance [u]is[/u] a bitch.
I hate when girls get in fights,when you're arguing with them,telling them original things and what you really feel,then they pop out with [i]second[/i] grade bullshit about how they feel sorry for you and shit.Girls are morons.Why can't [b]everyone[/b] be like me?Original and outspoken.Die loser teeny boppin girls.And these girls are usually ditzy out their ass.
Anyways I have to go get a shower and vent.Night all. :twisted:
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| sleepy |
| 11.13.03 (4:23 am) [edit] |
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I'm awake,just trying to blog money.Bah,I would just like to point out,racism is [u][b]not[/b][/u] America's number [i]one[/i] problem.Jackasses. :evil:
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| Oh my Gawd... |
| 11.12.03 (5:29 pm) [edit] |
There's someone scratching at my windowceil..
I just wanted to say..this was my expeirement,I'm sorry,I should have never asked them to do this.Im so sorry.
Just in case..I don't come back,I just want everyone to know..I did it all for the noogie.
No really,there's something scratching at my winderceil.Damn these old towns with houses far apart,where no one can hear you scream and rarely be busted by the cops for partying...
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| Teenage idiots |
| 11.12.03 (5:06 pm) [edit] |
God,I hate these teeny boppin girls,whose lives are so fuckin horrible,and resort to cutting and sucide.Why?Because mommy and daddy wouldn't let them go to the party,or mom didn't get Mary a birthday present.
They whine and cry over bullshit like that.And what's [i]really[/i] sad,is that,they brag about trying to kill themselves numerouse times,yet never go through with it.
What's the world come to when people are too chicken shit to go through with their [b]own[/b] fuckin sucide.
People are sad.Stupid stupid teenage idiots.
[image]ZoloftNation_15514 7804.jpg[/image]
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| Morbid dreams |
| 11.11.03 (6:46 pm) [edit] |
Bah,I keep having these morbid nothingness thoughts.
I'm surrounded by these little people,under the sheets with me at night.All I hear is my breathing.And they're laughing and pointing and whispering about me.
There is about 3 of them,they're fucking each other and sliding in between my legs.Prissy is on top of me,giving them orders.They're No bigger then a roach.Then I'm in a tub full of blood,Prissy my 4 pound dog is holding me down.Laughing with her long tail brushing in my face.
[i]I remeber I use to cut,in the tub,the warm water,I did it until the water was pink.[/i]
Then I turn over,twards my shelf of junk,and it's all stone,little nothings,pricless,nothing s.And my breathing,20 times louder,is all I hear.And I feel the little people running around under the bed,screwing each other,swimming around. :?:
It's weird,I remeber this perfectly,It's either a dream or I made it up in my head.
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| Wanna know a secret? |
| 10.28.03 (8:19 pm) [edit] |
Before I die..I want to know pain.I want to feel real pain...physically,emotionally,un deniable pain.Pain, is sexy.
I need to feel something besides everyday feeling.Take me away from my shelter,away from my own world.
Show me independance.Show me crusifiction,show me desicration.
Penitrate through me like no one can.Give me what I want.Make my read between th lines,recite the true deffinition of P.A.I.N.
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| My webpage |
| 10.19.03 (9:12 am) [edit] |
http://www.geocities.com/fallen2yourdebt/n2_my _reality
It's not much,but it's a work in progress
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| hmm |
| 10.18.03 (9:52 am) [edit] |
K just wanted to point out,I don't like rap or any black music for the matter.I chose this song for sexual purposes only.
K,now onto my lonelyness.God,I hate seeing Larry happy.Ide rather him be miserable then to be without me.I hate knowing he is happy without me,and can function and live without me.
He still thinks there is hope for us,I simply don't see it.Not yet anyways.I hate loving.
I have my hopes set on TWU.Pretty nice campus,in the ghetto.But you would never know because it's a secluded private school.A ran down art area,but manageable,being since I don't want to major in art.Anywho.All for now. :)
I just got done reading "Go Ask Alice" .I totally reccomend that book.Drugs suck,they kill.Drugs and sex kill.Who knew?Anyways,it's an overall good book,READ IT! 8)
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| bullshit |
| 10.14.03 (3:22 pm) [edit] |
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Who did that shit to the chat shit?Whats up with them puting bullshit words in there?its quite amusing.
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| Varsity Blues... |
| 10.13.03 (4:36 pm) [edit] |
...Talking to parametic....
"Can he play?" *spit*
"I don't even think he can breath" *spit*
"Yeah,but can he play?" *spit*
*spit*
"Damnit,Reggy Rae stays in the game"
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| tampons. |
| 10.13.03 (3:04 pm) [edit] |
Steals some tampons,pearl style.
*running from the pigs*
-rebel style
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| Dr.Phil suckass. |
| 10.13.03 (2:11 pm) [edit] |
Alright,my nana's watching Dr.Phil,fat style..and I go to watch with her,to please her.Anyways..now she thinks I'm overweight because I'm supressing my feelings with food.Haha,I'm overweight cause I eat alot.I could loose it,and I will.My emotion has nothing to do with why I eat.So she was trying to get all therapist on me..and was like "Why are you overweight?" So I say "Habit"...So we start talking blah blah,she's buying his book and wants me to read it..What a shit.He gets payed to tell people their fat because they supress they're emotion with icecream.I could change my fatness,and I will.My emotion has nothing to do with anything,I hide my emotion,from everything.I'm fat because I'm lazy and eat too much,period.Damn Dr.Phil,and his bullshit excuses. :evil:
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| Orgasms.. |
| 10.13.03 (11:11 am) [edit] |
Ok,like most people,I too,masterbate.Though,with my in-expeirience at the real deal,I have no clue what "it" really feels like.Or even if,I am even masterbating correctly.I know it's diffrent for every woman.I too,get pleasure,and tence up,I wonder if that's my climax.4 second climax.What a joke.I'm deffinatley gonna be a giver,then a reciever.I,indeed,have household toys I use. :roll: No one knows I do the deed,except my sister.She walked in on me,horrifying.So I very well can't say "Hey mom,I masterbate,buy me a dildo."
She would die from laughter.So I,in turn,must use everyday items.One,being my mechanical toothbrush.Which,I don't use in my mouth.No worries there.That gets me off,or so I think,like no other.Then I use something else..in which I won't say what..because I use it everyday,for other things.
The point being,what does an orgasm really feel like?Am I even hitting the right places?Someone throw me a freekin bone.
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| Appolgies |
| 10.12.03 (3:41 pm) [edit] |
Alright people.Let me ponder something...is it a crime,to come to a site,and tell your opinion?Is it not the veiwers choice to view?Correct me if I'm wrong.I'm sorry if you don't like my opinions on certain things.Don't read my posts.
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| My other diary... |
| 10.12.03 (3:26 pm) [edit] |
This is fun...*wee* :oops:
This is my other diary,before I stumbled across this fine site.This is more personal,and more long term into my life.Lots of drama,alot of unfilled gaps.
Have a looksy if you want.
http://www.caleida.com/users/under_my_veins/ " title="http://www.caleida.com/users/under_my_veins/ " target="_blank"http://www.caleida.com/users/...
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